C'mon! Before you lie again, think. You know you've lied to yourself too. And in the end, it's not that big a deal. We even tend to forget and forgive ourselves very easily. But life doesn't forgive that easily.
Over the years, I've practiced having mindful conversations with myself, that I'll surely talk about some other day. But in that process, I realised how shrewdly I create a spiral of lies leading to myself to believe it. That's surely some craft, and I will make a list of most common lies that I (and yes, you too) keep telling myself. But today, I want to talk about the worst lie that I think I tell myself.
If only I had that beautiful clothes organiser, I’d start keeping my wardrobe neat.
Everyday, I told myself that if I just had one more this or that, I'd write better. I'd start writing right away, if only I had the perfect lighting in the room.
If only I had a ylang-ylang essential oil for my aroma diffuser, I could have concentrated better.
- Go to Amazon.
- Add to cart.
- Get one-day delivery.
- Ylang-ylang essential oil is here.
- Now I just need that perfect tealight candle before I start writing.
And the vicious cycle goes on and on.
Sure, promising yourself victory prizes is great, but this went to whole another level. Every successful project meant checking off one box from my long pending shopping wishlist. Not only was I spending all my earnings on these lavish treats to myself (it's like another addiction), I lost interest in projects that didn't come with a reward. Even talking about this feels like a stupid thing a teenager did, but it's a spiral of spending money recklessly and becoming less and less productive.
You can have several definitions for this habit, but to me, this is only a lie that I kept telling myself to put off my work.
Now, how did I stop this habit?
# 1. Acknowledge.
The first step is to realise that you have a problem. Certainly, nothing can change before you acknowledge it.
# 2. Think.
Understand the severity of your problem and then think – why are you telling all these lies to yourself? Is the work not fun for you? Do you not like working in a particular space? Whatever be your reason, figure out how you can change the situation.
# 3. Dive deeper.
If everything about the work is alright and you are still lying to yourself, ask – is there anything else that you seek? What gap are you trying to fill with material possessions?
# 4. Pause.
Get back to the age old method of buying only what you need. Loved that cushion? Do you urgently need it, or can you go one month without it? If yes, do not buy it now. Think about it a month later and your urge must be boiled down.
# 5. Celebrate.
Lastly, do not stop promising yourself little presents every now and then. Only ensure to keep them less frequent, and small. No, finishing that overdue assignment doesn't require a fresh set of neon pens. You can still work with your older one. No, you don't need scented candles to meditate. You just have to begin meditating. But once every few months, go ahead and spoil yourself.
These are the steps that surely helped me in breaking my spree of weaving lies to myself that further downgraded my performance. Catch yourself red-handed and take actions now. That's the only way you can stop lying to yourself.
There are 1000 reasons to be lazy, and only one to do something. Make your pick!
